The New World Order – A Change Isn’t Always As Good As a Rest

Change, for the most part, is considered healthy even though most people resist it to a certain extent. We like our comforts and while we might enjoy a holiday somewhere different, not too many of us want it to be too different. So now we have this new world order thing happening in the USA and the UK with King President Trump and the Brexiteers.


You see, while I have beautiful family and loved ones living in those countries, I shouldn’t be affected by too much of this change. I mean, I’m not Mexican, so there is no wall to worry about. I’m not from one of the countries that have had their citizens excluded from traveling to or through the USA and so my travel plans aren’t going to change. I have no intention of converting to Islam. I’m not in Europe and depending on reciprocal health care.  But the changes are affecting my every day life and I’m getting irritated.


I’m a social media junkie for the most part.  For many years it’s been my drug of choice. I don’t drink coffee, never have. I stopped smoking weed ages ago. Nowadays I don’t even indulge in wine that much and certainly not while I’m at work. So, being able to take time to relax, watch some giggle inducing cat videos, read weird news reports about the items that hospitals have removed from people’s arseholes and look at photos of food is no longer an option. All that seems to be on Facebook is an endless stream of shitty news.


People, who once had normal lives, and posted about the mundane trivialities that they found amusing, are now politicised keyboard warriors and even part time street activists. Whereas, I used to sit down at my desk and open Facebook to see where my friends and family were traveling, their drunken escapades and lie about how cute their children look in the hundred fucking pictures they post of them a day, now I brace myself for damage reports.


This is not good. Or, is it? Actually, it is. Things have gotten real. They’ve gotten fucking real. The numbing drug of cat videos is no longer working and people are pissed off and it’s about fucking time.

Speaking of change, I’m having to lose weight. It’s a total nuisance. I spent much of my youth worrying far too much about my weight and appearance and was delighted when I reached middle age and no longer cared. Not because I’d given up caring, but because I’d finally realised that I looked fucking fabulous – even fat. Only problem is that when you get old, your body starts hurting and the fatter you are, the more the things that hold it up hurt.

I was talking to someone the other day and complaining that my knees hurt. They asked me why. I said it had been caused by carrying something heavy. They said ‘What on earth were you trying to carry that was so heavy that it hurt your knees?’ I replied, ‘My body’. And there you have it. So, now I have to do the lifestyle change thing to lose weight. I’m doing pretty well. Weight is coming off slowly and I’m feeling fitter. My knees are still sore, but I’m hoping they’ll get over themselves soon. I’m just not looking forward to people saying ‘Have you lost weight? You look fantastic.’


This new fucking world order is really annoying. I want cat videos and I want cake.

Much love from your Badass Auntie



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