Month of Ungratefulness – Meditation #02
Too many fucking friends.
For someone as decidedly cynical, judgemental and obnoxious as I am, I have far too many friends. I mean, I try not to. I set my standards high. As most of my friend know, the three absolutes that any and all friends must meet are as follows:
1. No bigots – By bigots, I mean arseholes who judge people on things that they can’t really change. I don’t mind if you have prejudices based on things that people can change such as listening to Celine Dion, not picking up their dog’s shit or believing that wealth should be flaunted through the expression of really poor taste in really expensive things. Those are all deserving of disdain.
2. No boring people – I am a curator of the queer, fantastic, fabulous, curious and strange. I do not wish to have people without one or more of those qualities in my collection of friends. I don’t believe in an afterlife, therefore, as far as I’m concerned, this is my only inning. I want it to be a good one. Bring something to the party.
3. No stupid people – Stupid people are not people with poor educations, who can’t read or write. Stupid people are those incapable of independent or critical thought. They are typically boring and bigots as well, so it all fits in quite comfortably.
You’d think that with the bar so high, I’d have a hard time making and maintaining friendships. We’re all painfully aware that the world is full of stupid, boring, bigots. Yet, somehow, I find myself surrounded with people who not only meet my high standards, but in many cases, surpass them. What the fuck am I to do? I simply don’t have time for all of them.
Fuck. I may need to reconsider this whole thing. I’m starting to wonder if boring and stupid friends would be less demanding upon my psyche.
I’m worried it may be too late. I may just be stuck with the smart, fabulous ones. Bastards!