As November and the USA’s weird and tragically ironic (and insulting) celebration of ‘Thanksgiving’, which has now melded into the bizarre ‘no shave’ month as well as a ‘month of gratitude’, has been foisted upon the rest of us completely non consensually, I have officially named December as the Month of Ungratefulness. I feel it’s a fair and honest rebuttal. I could have called it the Month of Entitlement, but it seems that so many have made that a 12 month event, so it seemed a bit fruitless.
As promised, today is my first official Month of Ungratefulness daily meditation. I welcome contributions if you feel that your lack of gratitude has not been well appreciated and you’d like to share it both with a sympathetic ear and a larger audience.
Month of Ungratefulness 2016 – Meditation #1
I’m ungrateful for delicious food. I do not have sufficient space in my human stomach to fit in all the delicious food that I wish to consume. I’m also well aware that unless I want to turn into a TLC reality show called my 600lb Badass Auntie, requiring that I have a wall removed and a forklift to take me to the doctor, consuming all the delicious food that I wish to eat is not a realistic life goal. My only solution is to start making friends who are really shit cooks. Alternatively, I could find friends who like to cook liver and mushy peas, two of the few edible options that I will not consume.
Maybe I should just dispense with friends completely. But wait a minute…too many friends? That’s another meditation. So, today, I will just focus on my irritation with all the unbelievably palatable food that is offered to me. In a world where in some countries, obese children are suffering from malnourishment and in other countries, starving children are suffering from awful governments and the general unfairness of a planet that could easily feed them if it could be bothered, I think my daily meditation is suitably inappropriate, whiny, selfish and borderline offensive. My daily task is, therefore, complete.